Sasuskey 12:21pm Jun 17 2018
Hello everyone. Today's my 1 year anniversary since the accident and I thought I might benefit someone from my experience. I really hope no one's reading this, because if you are, it probably means bad news for you.
While one my motorbike I had an accident last year smashing both my knee (tibula) and ankle. I had a plate and 4 screws inserted into my knee, and surgical pins placed in my ankle for 2 months, which were then removed.
Regarding my physical state, I laid in the hospital bed for 21 days, having gone through a 6 hour surgery trying to place things back together. I thought I knew what pain was up until that day. I could hardly get up and use the bathroom. Pain killers didn't help me much, although I acknowledge they did lessen the pain to some extent. I was fully depressed not knowing whether I'd go back to walking normally, nor what was to come.
I think I can spot 4 milestones in my recovery. The first one was definitely when the pain stopped. I'm talking about the insufferable amount of pain. The type of pain that was there regardless of movement, while in resting position and elevated. This happened at about one month after the surgery. I could finally start sleeping a bit better.
The second important period began once the pins had been removed and I had to start walking. It's really difficult once you've stopped hurting to be forced to use your broken limb again, knowing fully well the pain that will be associated with every movement. I think this is the most difficult part of restoration. It takes a strong will to knowingly put yourself through extreme pain, knowing - or rather hoping - that this is the only way to return to your old limits.
My recovery was super slow. It took me 2 more months (4 since the surgery) to finally let go of both crutches and start walking. Not that I was walking like a normal human being though... I had a super limp, practically jumping every step and trying to land on my good foot as quickly as possible. This third period was spent trying to learn how to walk again. I took small walks trying to push my limits. Every day that went by I felt as if I wasn't making any progress. However when I looked back about 3 weeks, I could feel I had indeed made some progress. I guess what I'm trying to say is that progress comes, but it's super slow. Don't let it get you down. Your body heals, but apparently it doesn't do so at the speed we would like it to.
So here I am today. I'm skipping the months in between because I don't feel anything noteworthy happened. Some days were better than others, but I'd by lying if I said there was actually a good day. My biggest struggle I think has been trying to continually exercise, pushing through the pain. I'm not a person that tolerates pain well. Why move around and put yourself through pain when you can finally just sit there and forget about your problem? It's not an easy task, but a necessary one none the less.
So what has become of my leg? The knee has done pretty well. It doesn't really limit my movement, but going up and down steps still reminds me of my limits. My ankle however has proved the most troublesome, just like the doctors said it would. It's still quite painful when I walk, it's still swollen to some extent and I haven't gained full range of motion. I'm missing something like 5°-10° while lifting it.
I'm not sure why I'm writing all this down. I remember reading other people's experiences and feeling better about my own. I guess I'm trying to humbly give back a small portion of what I took. It's something I promised myself back then.
I guess the bottom line is that if you've broken your knee or ankle as seriously as I did, bad and worse days are awaiting you. Pain always hurts, it's not like you can ever really get used to it. However, the way we humans process things fascinates me. My injury became a part of me and my daily routine. My incident stopped bothering me after one point. I embraced what had happened and couldn't remember how I was before. This is a good thing. You must stop crying over spilled milk. @!#$ happens. I honestly believe I've realized things I never would have before. I've come to believe pain is good. It makes you think long and hard about things. Pain is an inescapable part of life. The only sure thing about your future is that you're bound to experience more pain. It's these moments that define our lives and who we become. Embrace your situation. Learn from it. Learn who you are in those moments and what can be done. Grow your compassion and realize how many people are in pain, but don't pity them. Think what pity has done to you. Remember what helped you and what didn't. Stop thinking that bad things only happen to other people and watch your every step. The day you were injured began just like any other day. You never know what's coming. Start preparing for the worst. I was at fault for what happened to me and I realized that some times you lose control of things. You just stop paying attention and let routine take over. That is, until it's too late and you can't even help yourself to the toilet. There are people that have it worse than you. If you think you've been thorough @!#$ just talk to other people. This whole experience opened my eyes to what's happening around me. All the pain and all the suffering. It made me think whether there was something I could do about it. It made me think of how huge I thought my problems were, but how small they really are at the end of the day.
That's it. 365 days of pain summed up in a few words. I'll gladly get back to anyone asking for more information. Hope this has helped, but then again, hope no one really needs what I've wrote.