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Amanda_L : 45.5 weeks
Diary entry posted Mon 7:00pm 23 November 2009

In just 2 weeks I am going to have my HWR. I have mixed feelings. I am hopeful that I will be pain free and walk without my stupid limp when its allhealed. But I am also hesitant in getting too excited being how long it took to recover from the original break. I am in a lot of pain, lots of stiffness, decreased ROM, constant pain of some sort either in my shin or ankle... it seems like a huge step backwards for me. So in that respect I am more than happy to get the HWR and move forward. I just hope its that easy and that it goes well and is as good as others say it is. I cant imagine it could be worse. While I am afraid of being on crutches in DEC in MN.... I hope that all goes well and life moves on. I hope that in a year I will not be thinking of my broken leg every single day. I hope that the pain will be gone, that the swelling will minimize, that the stiffness will be subsided and that I will be back to myself again. Running, biking, triathlons, volleyball... all the things that truly define me. I feel like I have lost a huge part of my identity through all of this. I dont do well with others taking care of me, helping me, etc. I dont like to sit around, especially when forced to. I don't like not being able to be as athletic as I want to be. I dont like that this limp defines me and is now "normal". I cant tell that I limp 50% of the time - but others constantl mention it so its still there. There are a lot of things to look forward to and I can only hope that the HWR goes smoothly and "issue" free so I can move forward once and for all!!!
I am having a slight "poor me" pity party - but more along the lines of "screw it" - if I want to do it I am going to because I have 2 weeks of walking left. I maximize my free time - cram it full of seeing friends, going to hockey games, comedy, shopping, etc.....



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 Mon 7:00pm 23 November 2009
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