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Alicia_B : Broken since 24/7/11 Cont.
Diary entry posted Sun 9:35am 7 August 2011

time of day. It seems he doesn’t care about me and he is completely selfish. The night before the operation I was scared and crying. I asked for a hug and he wouldn’t give me one. Then in the morning when I left, I said I loved him and it caused an argument because he wouldn’t say it back. I left for the operation feeling the shittiest I’d ever felt (physically and mentally).
In the hospital I must admit I was very anxious. I’ve never had an operation before or been put to sleep. As I was being wheeled to the theatre I said to the nurse “It’s scary to fall asleep in one place and wake up somewhere different” and she said “Most people wake up singing, or laughing.. nobody really wakes up worried that they aren’t in the right place”. I must admit, I really liked the feeling of being put to sleep. The way I could feel it spreading through my body and the anaesthetist saying “Can you feel it?” and me saying “I can feel it” and the blacking out as they pulled the mask towards my face.
The first thing I said when I woke up was “I love this song!” emphatically! I can’t remember what the song was, or if a song was even playing, but I think what the nurse said to me before I was put to sleep must have stuck in my head somewhere. My leg was sore and heavy. They had to perform another drain to deal with the haemoarthrosis and apparently my cartilage was in so many bits that the doctor has to “Chase it around the joint”. Eww! It was irreparable and they couldn’t do anything but remove the bone fragments either. I was discharged later that day to my surprise I felt ok. One side of my knee was bleeding quite badly and I’m having trouble doing the exercises already because I think the joint has re-filled up with blood (it’s swollen and discoloured). So I may have to go back to physio sooner. I can move my ankles and lift my leg at 90 degrees but I still can’t do the straight leg lift. Nor do I have any command over the muscles in my knee for instance, I can’t tense it. I need to work on getting the muscle memory back or something I think. I will add more as it happens.
That is the story of my broken leg, it’s a lot less interesting than other I’ve read on here but as well as wanting health suggestions, I was also seeking advice on the emotional side i.e. How to respond to my boyfriend since the accident. At the moment, you can probably tell I’m quite bitter! Has anybody else had their leg broken by somebody else and if so, was it this hard to forgive? I know the injury is nowhere near as serious as some peoples but it could have so easily been prevented, that’s what bothers me.



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 Sun 9:35am 7 August 2011
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