With the OS's prognosis, I went into shock. How could the doctors in the ER be so wrong? How could I have ruined my family's summer?
My wife drove me back to work from the doctor’s office. We discussed all the problems we would have. We had to cancel a family vacation. I had to figure out how I would get to work since I could not drive.
Then I started thinking about my personal life. I couldn't pick up my girls in my arms. A summer of swimming with them was gone. No biking, running or swimming. What would I do with my time? A few hours later it turned to fear. How bad is the pain going to be from surgery? How long will it last.
I had eight days to think about all this. The fear was eating me alive. I spent hours googling all the information I could about ankle fixation surgery. Nothing could help me calm down. I kept reliving the accident in my head. I had to keep reminding myself how much worse it would have been had I hit the car, or had it hit me. Even worse, my wife had to go to a convention the weekend before my surgery.
Then all of sudden, my 4 year old daughter confirmed my worst fears. She told me she saw someone who had a leg in his pants (an amputee) at the zoo. She asked if that would happen to me. For those of you with young children, my explanation seemed to be soothing. I explained that sometimes we get boo-boos on the outside, like my scrapes, and sometimes we get boo-boos on the inside. I showed her where I broke my foot, my hand and nose, and how they were still there.
My wife was warmly welcomed back on Sunday night. I had faced reality by that time. I knew that we would live life as normally as we could. More importantly, I accepted that surgery would be painful, but it had to be done.
Work on Monday and Tuesday went by in no time. My wife picked me up on Tuesday with a welcome birthday present, a Nintendo Gameboy to keep me occupied after surgery while I was at home, not working.
I went to sleep dreading operation day. I am not a patient person. I would have to wake up and sit around the house waiting for 12:00 to come so that I could go to the hospital.