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Abby : Who would have thunk it?
Diary entry posted Mon 9:49pm 24 March 2008

I had no idea that FWB around a store and the house would make my ankle swell so much...hmmm...ok, maybe I did know, but didn't really think about it. I got the boot a week and a half ago and the OS said 50% for a week, than 75 and then FWB. I wasn't in any hurry to do any of those things, because he had been going to put me in a cast for another 2 weeks until I whimpered. I figured, I didn't know how to only put 50% weight on a leg I hadn't been using for 6 weeks, especially since I haven't had xrays since surgery. So I was putting the foot down with the crutches, but with my other health problems (namely the Fibromyalgia) I could only walk with the crutches for a little bit.

Then...the other day...I just sort of got up and walked. I didn't really realize I was doing it, I just did it. It's a strange feeling after relying on equipment for so long. I felt a little like Wile E Coyote coming off of the cliff and just realizing he is in mid-air and about to drop. But I have been doing fine with it. I haven't had pain except for some soreness, but that I expected. But tonight....it is SWOLLEN!!! You have to understand that I haven't had that much swelling. Being in the wheelchair all the time and not having it hanging like you do on crutches made a difference I think. So it is really odd to see it swollen. I'm a little afraid to go to sleep...it may hurt when I wake up!!

And then there is the problem of my long leg...but that I put on the discussion board, so I won't go into it here.

I just feel really blessed. My body doesn't normally do what it is supposed to do. I don't usually heal well. And I was especially concerned with the fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue with this whole situation. But God has really blessed me with the ability to heal well with this and I am so grateful!! I still have visions of the bones just breaking in half as I am walking and cannot picture running/jumping/bicycling or even driving at this point. But that is mental more than anything else and I know that will all come in time.

This site has been so good for me in soooo many ways, but I do have to admit I get a little scared and discouraged when I see the problems people are having months and years later. This fuels the fear that this will be another medical oddity to add to my list: my limp... And then, of course, I have the fear that besides these bones some how re-breaking, that I am now on the path to breaking something all the time. (Do you see what turmoil goes on inside my head?) Like now that I have done it once, all the other bones are jealous of the attention. I know. I am psycho. And no, I am not on any controlled pain meds, I promise!

It's very late. I need to sleep. But this entry (which started out as a discussion post btw) has just seemed to write itself and ramble on. Perhaps I can blame my fingers as they continue to type. Perhaps I should just go to sleep :)

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 Mon 9:49pm 24 March 2008
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